Dissociated PressThursday, Feb 19, 2009
Maui, Hawaii
Following the bold portrayal of a former Hare Krishna devotee as Michael Jackson in a manipulated version of his 1987 album Bad, religious leaders the world over have condemned both the rancid illustration and the anonymous artist involved. Members of International Shiva Council based in Maui, Hawaii, have been rallying the island's popular beaches, handing out matchboxes and print-outs of the said illustration, modified to include the words "death to infidels".
Offending cover contrasted with other contemporary examples of alleged blasphemy.
Sources tell the artist has fled to Denmark and now lives in a burrow on the plains somewhere south of Copenhagen, now a participant in a high-level witness identity protection program of Danish Security Intelligence Service (DSIS). "It was like the Mohammed comic strip episode all over again, only ten times worse," said a representative for the Ministry of Interior, declining to comment on government involvement in the artist's protection.
A representative for International Shiva Council of Latter-day Michael Jacksons (SCLAMJA), a new religious organization who reveres Michael Jackson as the Supreme Personality of Godhead, compared this to the 1967 outrage caused by the cover of Axis: Bold as Love by Jimi Hendrix, in which the musician's face was superimposed to an old Hindu painting depicting the universal form of God. Readers who are not old hippies may also be reminded of the cover of Aerosmith's 1997 album Nine Lives, depicting Krishna dancing atop the many-hooded Kaliya-snake with his head replaced with a cat's.
Michael Jackson, currently visiting the Never-Never Land, was unavailable for comment. A press release from the artist's public relations office notes in a jovial tone that if Mr. Jackson is the Supreme Personality of Godhead, despite the fact that he really wants to be Peter Pan, then surely he wishes for all his little friends to be Supreme Personalities of Godhead too. Or in the now God's own words, "Why can't you share your bed? That's the most loving thing to do, to share your bed with someone." (DP)
36 comments:
The story that Jimi Hendrix was an envious demon who wanted to take the place of Vishnu is a myth. When the cover of the LP was to be designed he was in the States and the designers in London. There was no feedback. He told them by phone or by proxy that he wanted the cover to express his (red) Indian roots and they misunderstood it to be India in South Asia. Jimi was surprised when he saw the outcome of the design but decided to just keep it like that.
-- For Immediate Release --
As the Founder-Acharya of the SCLAMJA I have to take issue with the misrepsentations made on the Internment blog "Flab Satori" by one "Ananduh Flabbibum" about our organization and it's supposed "response" to his "offensive" "art". We at the SCLAMJA have not deemed Missy Flabbibum's "art" to be "theologically" offensive, clearly he was miffed when we sent out our previous press release stating:
"We find it grossly offensive to the Gay community that one of their own has outed himself in such a tasteless sense, viz. the Gay community is well known for their fashion sense and sensibility, making it easier and easier for their acceptance in the larger non-fag culture who love a fun queen to tell them wha's hot and what's not. It is a shame for one of their own to parade around in public in such a stereotypical comical portrayel of the butch queer male (that unfortunate upper lip "fashion don't'). We at SCLAMJA -- in solidarity (but at arms length) with our beloved LBGTXXXYZ community -- are putting out a Fatwahd on the "Flab Satori" Interminable blog: Let it be known that under the ruling of the SCLAMJA ruling council (me myself and I and I) we have issued the following ruling -- The Nancy community is not to have any further intimate (oral pleasuring is excluded from the ruling since it has in the past been decreed "not to be actual sex" by the Supreme Ruler of the Eternally Gay Leadership Council: William Jeffsinmybum Clinton) connecting or connection with the offensive owner of the "Flab Satori" Intohisbutt blog site -- one "Another Loopyguy" -- henceforward and backedupinto -- until the day comes when he is forthcumming with an apology to his fruity brothers in arms.
So let it be written; so let it be done"
We would kindly like to inform the webmissy of this site to kindly avail of herself the facts of this matter. We had no intention of causing harm nor fear for life, our fatwahd was put on her head souly to rectumfy the harm done to the hardon earned reputation of the LBGTXXXyzopp community for being at the foreskinfront of fashion sense and sensibilititty. Your unfortunate depiction of a well-known out-spoken leader of the Bugger Nation, with his upper lip in such a stereotypical and outdated (the poofs tell me that the dirty sanchez "becomes" gross with a lip mo-hawk) posture, is, in our view, not just a self-hate crime (which while in and of itself is of little concern seeing that self-loathing and being bitchy about it is the sine qua non of the drama queen community), but a crime against homoanity, and as such we call for to rectumfy yourself A.S.S.A.P
Michael Jackson is The Supreme Personality of Godhead. Don't you see the resemblance?
(never mind I am tripping on LSD)
http://michaeljacksongod.blogspot.com/
Yes, he is many things:
A samurai
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/018.jpg
a centurion
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/027.jpg
a renaissance man
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/028.jpg
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/029.jpg
a cowboy
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/062.jpg
a sage
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/020.jpg
a prince
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/leibovitz/013.jpg
a playboy
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/appearances/oscars/018.jpg
???
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/036.jpg
a parent
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/015.jpg
a biker
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/014.jpg
Tarzan
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/bad/photoshoots/misc/005.jpg
a pimp
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/history/photoshoots/vibe/006.jpg
androgynous
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/history/photoshoots/vibe/005.jpg
a manga (jap anime) character
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/history/photoshoots/vibe/012.jpg
a wild animal
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/history/awards/brit/036.jpg
an alien
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/history/shortfilms/scream/014.jpg
a futuristic dictator?
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/history/shortfilms/teaser/031.jpg
http://mjjpictures.free.fr/history/shortfilms/teaser/028.jpg
a hindu superhero
http://starornostar.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/michael-jackson.jpg
a magician
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2078/1906260480_a76ccbeecc_o.jpg
a starship captain
http://www.allmichaeljackson.com/gallery/badera/images/badera116.jpg
an indian
http://www.allmichaeljackson.com/gallery/dangerousera/images/dangerousera370.jpg
Krishna
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UO_F3I9gJE&fmt=18
Here is 'The Making of Thriller' in 5 parts
1 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8z1PkbqV3Q
2 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zQwTJvqcELM
3 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LrUkpzdz6Bg
4 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6lwo7VeSLTU
5 - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ku9JzwSUJO
http://caitanyasympos.proboards55.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=general&thread=62&page=1#2798
the naked truth
That's so gay
Vegman, please don't copy and paste kilometers. You can just link to the sources. (Which were in fact quite interesting, Shiva's psychotropic adventures, even if I just skimmed through.)
Mrs. Ananda wrote:
"Vegman, please don't copy and paste kilometers. You can just link to the sources. (Which were in fact quite interesting, Shiva's psychotropic adventures, even if I just skimmed through.)"
Oh, I see, on your blog your have the monopoly on bad.
Dude, I was bad before your testicles even dropped down.
Even my babes were bad...........
My Girlfriend's a dick magnet, My Girlfriend's gotta have it
She's hot, can't stop, up on stage, doing shots, Tip the man he'll
Ring the bell, get her drunk she'll scream like hell.
Dirty girl, gettin' down, dance with guys from outta town.
Grab her ass, actin' tough. Mess with her, she'll fuck you up.
No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned, but she's
Comin' back to my place tonight!
She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat
She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth
I like to strip her down, she's naughty to the end
You know what she is, no doubt about it
She's a bad, bad girlfriend!
Red thong, Party's on, Love this song, sing along.
Come together, leave alone, see you later back at home
No one really knows if she's drunk or if she's stoned
But she's coming back to my place tonight.
I say, No one really knows just how far she's gonna go,
But I'm gonna find out later tonight.
She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat
She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth
I like to strip her down, she's naughty to the end
You know what she is, no doubt about it
She's a bad, bad girlfriend!
Doesn't take her long to make things right.
But does it make her wrong to
Have the time of her life. The time of her life
(My girlfriend's a dick magnet, My girlfriend's gotta have it)
She's a gold digger, now you figure, out it's over, pull the trigger.
Futures finished, there it went, savings gone,
The money spent
I look around and all I see is, no good, bad and ugly,
Man she's hot and fixed to be, the future
Ex-Miss Connolly!
She likes to shake her ass, she grinds it to the beat
She likes to pull my hair when I make her grind her teeth
I like to strip her down, she's naughty to the end
You know what she is, no doubt about it
She's a bad, bad girlfriend!
She's a bad, bad girlfriend.
She's a bad, bad girlfriend.
More Bad.....
I hope you are a Democrat.....
http://www.hindujagruti.org/news/4248.html
I'm glad to hear your testicles went bad when they dropped down. Please still only link to chunks of text that long.
So, Ananda Baba, what was it like when your testicles dropped last year.
It must have been hard them being all choked-off in your extremely tight kaupins as you had to look into the lovely eyes of you ex-hottie Malati.
Camping out at Radha kunda with a hottie like Malati must have been a real nightmare.
Your nuts were throbbin' everyday and you were trying to chant Hare Krishna and become a pre-pubescent maidservant of Krishna.
No wonder you freakin' blooped.
Your nuts were about to explode.
I have you feel much better now that you have a sweetie that is not all celibate and trying to become a gopi of Krishna.
My nuts aren't the exploding variety, I get to sublimate a great deal of the energy wherever needed. Having a sweetie around is a good thing regardless of nut pressure.
On the other hand, your nuts must have been way out of control when they ordered a wife from a Filipino mail order catalog.
ha-ha, please don't kill me guys, I'm laughing myself to death...I would score this 1-0 for Vegman. But he has the advantage of being a native english speaker, and as such more fluid with sarcasm than Ananda Babaji..
You obviously don't give credit for proper spelling!
Ananda said:
"On the other hand, your nuts must have been way out of control when they ordered a wife from a Filipino mail order catalog."
I didn't order her from a catalog.
I met her in a Yahoo chat room.
But, yeah, my nuts were way out of control.
Tight butts drive me nuts.
Ananda:
"You obviously don't give credit for proper spelling!"
Hey, give me a break.
I was home on my lunch break having a bowl of dahl and some corn chips.
(I hope today ain't Ekadasi)
I was in a hurry.
"Camping out at Radha kunda with a hottie like Malati must have been a real nightmare.
Your nuts were throbbin' everyday and you were trying to chant Hare Krishna and become a pre-pubescent maidservant of Krishna."
I kind of liked this. Never mind my spelling. I know Malati, she is a hottie. And what made you such a fool that you dumped her? Were you not BAD enough, after all? Sure it's scary to hear that one's girlfriend wants a gang bang with your guru involved, but genuinely bad persons ignore fear and get into business. Geminis like Malati (and like Ananda) are unconventional when it comes to sex. They might eat a sandwich while screwing...
and by the way, Geminis hate each other, so I hope your new hottie is not one; even Vegman, who's a Libra, would make a better match...I wonder why you never checked a vedic astrologer before uncorking Malati, sure he would've said that you're no match for her. And Vegman, I know Ananda hates it if we make this our private chat room, but still I'd like to ask what cult you represented, where, and when, and how did you get rid of it so that now you can bang your wife without the slightest fear of hell throbbing in the deepest abyss of your subconsciousness..??
The level of interest in our sex life is quite flattering, but maybe you folks need to stop for a moment and consider why it's so important to you...
Ananda said:
"The level of interest in our sex life is quite flattering, but maybe you folks need to stop for a moment and consider why it's so important to you..."
It's not that important to us.
We just have fun teasing you because you have raisins for gonads that dried-up due to neglect all them years you were trying to become a pre-pubescent maidservant of Radha.
It's just something to talk about because we certainly don't come here to hear your sermons on karma from the Buddhist perspective.
We want to hear about how nicely you are enjoying your senses now that you have abandoned theism to become a psuedo-buddhist just like you were a pseudo-Gaudiya all them years.
See, you are just pseudo when it comes to spirituality. You aren't seeking God. You are seeking someone to stroke off your false ego with some very fine lubricant.
We all hope you have found that person and are mow very happy in ego masturbation.
Anonymous wrote:
"And Vegman, I know Ananda hates it if we make this our private chat room, but still I'd like to ask what cult you represented, where, and when, and how did you get rid of it so that now you can bang your wife without the slightest fear of hell throbbing in the deepest abyss of your subconsciousness..??"
I am just a low life.
I have no explanation.
I just had to have it.
I was not going to deny myself the erotic needs I felt in my mind.
As far as not feeling guilty about it?
I don't know.
I just don't have that fear of God in me that a lot of people have.
Ananda is not the Bad boy around this forum.
The Bad boy is me and I have the record to prove it.
Ananda is just a Geek-Dork compared to a really bad boy like me.
That is why I said he ain't Bad, he is just sad.
Now, I am bad.
That is a fact.
Thanks Veg.
I think you're a reasonable man.
Really bad persons don't find themselves bad.
They think they are nice and go to heaven.
So I think that you just LOVE your wife.
It is interesting that the whole concept of sex being a sin emanates from the fact that a man cannot love his spouse -- like Indian chauvinists can't.
And yeah, there's very much Freudian, scary elements, as well as evolutionary elements, involved in the relationship of men and women.
No wonder religions so much center around sex and women, or neglecting them. Like the Gaudiya cult. One devotee even committed a suicide after screwing his wife.
The perplexity of the subject matter confuses, the misundertandings become a source of weird speculation.
"You are seeking someone to stroke off your false ego with some very fine lubricant. We all hope you have found that person and are mow very happy in ego masturbation."
Hah, sorry to disappoint you, but I am certainly not a yes-(wo)man, nor do I want to tell other people what to do ;)
"Geminis hate each other, so I hope your new hottie is not one"
Well, I am not hottie og tottie, I am nottie and Sagittarius :)
Well, Lady Wyrd, I don't mean to insult a fine person as your good self.
But, please buy that boy a shaver and let's see what he looks like without 6 inches of pubic hair growing all over his face.
He like like the Ayatollah of Rock and Rolla or something.
"Well, I am not hottie og tottie, I am nottie and Sagittarius :)"
Didn't you mean to say "naughty" and Sagittarius?
Please don't tell me Ananda is in another platonic love affair with another celibate babe?
The boy needs lots of good sex for several years in order for him to grow up to be a well-rounded individual.
It might take time for his nuts to get up to speed but with practice and repetition he will be a functioning adult male in no time.
Really, all this advice from sex experts is quite fascinating, but I assure you, I know how to utilize Mr. Yonidas quite fine without hearing a graphic walk-through of how you would have sex if you were me.
You're all stuck in that Gaudiya vicarious worship and service model again. For God's sake if you need to be obsessing over someone's sex life that way, go read Govinda Lilamrita or something. Might just make all the difference between spirituality and perversity.
Well, at least now I know a man who is so interested in my testicles he can keep going on and on and on about them, comment after comment, day in and day out. Would you like me to announce it on my blog with a photo of yourself attached?
"I don't mean to insult a fine person as your good self."
No insults been made. Your considerations based on your many valuable experiences of life entertain me a great deal. Sometimes they are wrong, merely referring to the legend, sometimes they are accurate dealing with the man behind the legend.
"But, please buy that boy a shaver and let's see what he looks like without 6 inches of pubic hair growing all over his face."
:D I have been planning to shave the "Addams family cousin Itt-creation" while he is asleep. However, I am not naughty enough to do that ;)
Vegman: "But, please buy that boy a shaver and let's see what he looks like without 6 inches of pubic hair growing all over his face."
Just to clarify the terms for you: There's a difference between pubic and public hair. Pubic hair is the kind that grows in your groins, and it usually isn't visible in public. Public hair, on the other hand, is the kind that charms a broader audience, such as hair and beard properly groomed.
Now go look in a mirror, I'll explain this in familiar terms. Those round things that look like testicles, they are called "cheeks". The stuff that looks a bit like pubic hair is called "beard and mustache", and the area in between is not a vagina, the scientific term is "your mouth". The semen-like substance emanating from your mouth is called "saliva", colloquially also "drool".
A little upward, approximately in the middle of your face, you'll find a protuberance in vertebrates resembling penis. This is called "the nose". Usually men have only one nose and one penis, and they aren't interchangeable in terms of their function unless you have a really long nose. Wanking your nose is a known loophole in the Hare Krishna restrictions for celibates, but I'm sure you'd know that by now.
I hope this clarifies things for you.
Yes, a nose can look like a penis.
http://cache.defamer.com/hollywood/spade-penis-nose.jpg
http://photos.almosthuman.net/albums/prostheticshumorous/normal_01490236.jpg
Announcing a New Forum:
Material World Media
News Videos Music
http://s13.zetaboards.com/MaterialWorldMedia/index/
new website...
www.pubicfacialhair.com
see you there??????
sorry sparky I wont be doing pubic hair diving with you dude!
Is this your latest gig, preying on every male that comes here?
Have you no shame good man?
Oh no, there is a homo in the house...
somebody please get the bug spray...
sparky dude, how ya been...?
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