Five Inner Merits for Better Communication

Yahoo Shine published a fresh and "real simple" psychology piece by Amanda Armstrong under the heading 5 Ways to Win People Over, or how to deal with situations where you don't seem to link with others, and need to create a sense of synergetic connection to improve communication and cooperation. It's simple if you can take a moment to reflect on it and put it into practice — and it gets awfully complicated if you don't or won't!

Alexander the Great is famous for cutting the endless Gordian Knot.
Before using a sword to get heard, please consider the following options.

Armstrong's interviews with professional "influencers" resulted in five simple considerations on how to deal and not deal with people. When things just don't seem to click, keep the following in mind:

1. Puncture your own ego — or cut a bit of slack and be less serious about yourself and your pride,
2. Don’t be needy — or don't recruit people to ride your hectic roller-coaster only to scare them away,
3. Tell someone (nicely) what he/she has to lose — or present the reasons behind a prospect instead of building up mirages,
4. Throw a curveball in conversation — or first find common ground and then build toward the actual issues at hand, and
5. Reiterate the other person’s argument — or think of yourself in his/her shoes, and show that you actually understand their position.

Be sure to read the source article for more on the why and how of these five simple adjustments to your approach. Let's have a look at the background and ponder the inner mechanics behind, if only to escape from the often unavoidable reality of people manipulating and abusing others under unsavory pretenses. If you communicate, you have an ethical responsibility even with the best of tricks in your arsenal.

These five simple approaches to help win people over hold a strong inner merit — which is why they work to begin with, because actual positive inner prospects become shared. Your success in communication is a reflection of your own inner state. Always remember and never forget — inner peace and a sense of connection and security are attractive prospects for one and all.

The positive prospects in the above list arise from (1) absence of obsessive ego, (2) absence of greed and thoughtlessness, (3) helpful attitude of goodwill, (4) perception of unifying perspectives, and (5) a "do-unto-others" mentality with the perspective shift — and they help both you and others around you.

On the other hand, when you (1) push your ego without giving in, (2) rock on "I want it all and I want it now", (3) prefer mirages over helpful realism, (4) doggedly push on and refuse to listen and pay attention, or (5) fail to see and relate to others' perspectives — it's all downhill from there onwards.

Even while it all sounds simple, the fact is that we're all too often so lost and conditioned in our small worlds that even the simplest of considerations seem like an ocean away. As patterns and systems of advancing narrow selfish and partisan agendas escalate and collide, they give rise to degeneration, corruption and violence, ensuring a healthy dose of mayhem and pandemonium for everyone, despite possible best intentions in absence of virtue and wisdom.

Prophets emerge and diverse systems of faith and ethics are created in forming a common playground, to prevent the emerging chaos and the evils of ill will, poor spirit, and general disarray. Over time, these establishments forget their essential wisdom and virtue, degenerating and ultimately only further advancing the same dynamics they once sought to prevent. The exact same patterns are at play with nations that initially form to serve the interests of the people, and then proceed to leech and feed on the citizens as the inequalities escalate.

Wouldn't it be sweet if everyone could read and understand a simple bullet-point list, like the ones seen in this blurb? They could just grasp the basic points on spirituality and wisdom, be happy and be done with it, and move onward to living positive lives — instead of battling their own shadows until the bitter end of their days.

Embodiment of wisdom and virtue is what I consider true and beneficial transhumanism — not the prospect of plugging a hard drive into one's head, only to contain even more information...

Half-satori

Satori is Japanese for enlightenment. A sudden, intense and radical awakening to reality. There was a time I thought I was almost there. As of late, it is becoming painfully obvious that enlightenment has nothing to do with the kind of furious and uncompromising endeavors that are often associated with a spiritual quest.

Wisdom, the heart of enlightenment, is unfortunately not an asset that can be mechanically produced. It does not automatically follow from any amount of anything you do or abstain from doing. Rather, it springs forth in the brief, silent and still moments when the pullings of the ego cease and existence is observed as-is.

The foundational thusness, the heart nature of all phenomena, is not attained by adopting a certain garb. And I mean a garb in the broadest sense, in adopting certain spiritual-cum-cultural patterns that are associated with traditions of wise or enlightened teachers. I thought it was. Garbs can be just as helpful as they can be harmful.

My path across 12 long years of Hinduism, followed by a burst of effort to employ the same conditioned mental striving-model in the context of Theravada Buddhism, combined with experiences of spiritual practitioners from diverse traditions, has led me to a safe distance from formal religiosity.

I do not mind formal religion. It's essentially a good thing, it serves a purpose. I will joyfully participate in any number of religious observances among adherents of diverse traditions and feel spiritually nourished, tapping into the underlying meta-reality. However, wholly adopting traditions that may not in their entirety match my psychological make-up and the obligations that follow is not something I wish to involve myself with.

And why is that? It is precisely because of a certain sense of fundamental weariness of playing games. Ego-games. From materialism to spiritualism, from a worldling to a spiritual hero, a conqueror of evils, a benefactor of all sentient beings. Or, on a more modest level, a pious adherent who finds solace in his religious observances.

Becoming a high grade spiritualist is wonderful, but you don't really become one by trying to become one. On this path, there is no reaching through walking. To the contrary, there is reaching by stopping. When there is only walking and no walker, motion flows in fullness. When there is only understanding and no understander, wisdom shines in its own right.

I have had blogs in the past. The first one was all about my adventures in the world of Hinduism (Vaishnava / Krishna). The second one, that never really got far beyond the beginning, had a Buddhist focus. They still exist, along with the mind of which they sprang forth, in a state of almost archival quiescence.

Half-satori is not about any of that. It's not about any of you either. It's not about any of me for that matter, the fluid little I that seems to be in a decent state of flux. It's about a free flow of exploration and experience. It's a voice crying in the wilderness, but it cries for none. It resonates in its own essence.

I don't know about the audience of this blog. I don't know that I care either. And I think that's a positive thing, for I am weary of pampering people and socio-religious holy cows. In this blog, I pretty much write about what the hell ever I want, and quite possibly I don't even have a good reason for doing any of that.

This is my personal limbo zone, the half-satori cocoon I find my peace in. It's cozy here, and you're welcome to stick around if you find something of interest.