Power Mantras for Healing the World (C.M. Labs)

This is an offbeat prelude to the world of mantras. Stay tuned for an upcoming article studying the mechanics and effects of diverse mantras on the many layers of the human mind, studied parallel to computer CPU architecture for a clear point of reference and technical illustration.

∋ HH Imposter Kapila 1 ∈

Many meditative traditions know how to cook up new power mantras with archetypal vibrations revealing the true nature of reality. Authentic sages with original mountain powers are supremely eminent and certified mantra-formulators by virtue of their virtue of formulative ability. Sometimes the sages issue new mantras to remedy the downward course of the degraded human civilization.

The following global mantra-formulae are forged and guaranteed for beneficial public practice by Imposter Kapila 2.0 of Cosmic Mantra Laboratories with great inner sanctimony and pontifness. These self-effulgent mantras should be venerated with the highest transcendental spuriosity and awesomeness.

|| oṁ para-mana-tāraṇaṁ maraṇa-kāraṇaṁ paramaṁ soma-samaṁ ||

Global Seed Mantras for Universal Powers

Cosmic Mantra Laboratories of Himalayan juggernaut fame is proud to present the following seed mantras for the prevailing powers for healing the world. These mantras are presented as the result of years of relentless research and development in transmutating the very fabric of existence.

► उसों - Usommmmm... U.S.: We're all on the same planet here you know!
► एउओं - Euommmmm... EU: Oopsie daisie it goes: Euh, Om, and Amen!
► नोओं - Nooommm... North Korea: Noooo... hmmm... noooo... hmmm....
► फ्रों - Frommmmm... France: Finish with "...mage" to conclude the meal.
► सौहं - Soouhmmmm... Soviet Union: Sooo... uhmmmm...: "I am that"?
► रों - Rommmmm... Italy: Drinks for Vatican clergy and Berlusconi.
► उम्ं - Ummmmm... U.K.: Seriously, a fat and loud "Ummmmmm"!
► जपों - Japommmm... Japan: Lit. "Chant Om" and the robots roll on.
► इङ्म्ं - Imnmmmm... India: I'm Incredible Impossibly Impenetrable India.
► छां - Chammmm.... China: "Cham" is archaic for (Genghis) Khan.
► श्वींङ् - Swinnngggg... Sweden: Austin Powers special mojo mantra.
► फिं - Fimmmmm... Euro/Finland: Finnish Markka and less foreign bills!
► सुॐ - Suommmmm... Suomi/Finland: "Good Om" for good vibrations!
► ॐ - Ommmmmmm... Omni: Real cosmic deal beyond time and space.

Chanting these mantras will undoubtedly help the world powers in understanding their true inner nature and the necessary future course of action in creating a better and brighter world for everyone. Union-wide standardization of national mantras is expected to advance in the ongoing EU plenary session in Strasbourg, France. ॐ फ्रों फ्रोमगे हूं.

I-T-P: Incantate, Transmutate, Prosper. Chant for a better tomorrow!

Localization: Mantras in Research & Development

We did not include Denmark in the above list in fear of sounding derisive or apocalyptic. It would have been ► दं - Dammmmm... Goes with ► दूं - Dummmmm for Dutch, the other super-flat land in Europe that needs to keep Poseidon at bay. (Chant ► पों - Pommmmm for recurring economical low tide.) These mantras may or may not be authorized for general public chanting, pending further clinical and neuropathological trials.

Other mantras still in research and development:

► ब्रं - Brammmm... Brazil: Samba carneval shakti mantra.
► बुं - Bummmmm... Bulgaria: Still fixing up the finances.
► फ्लं - Flammmm... Belgium + Flemish: More fuel for the flames.
► गें - Gemmmmm... Germany: Cutting edge industrial productivity.
► हूं - Hummmmm... Hungary: Humming towards Europe again.
► जां - Jammmmm... Jamaica: The official Iron Lion Zion mantra.
► सं - Sammmmm... Sahara + Saudi-Arabia: For some more sand.
► स्पं - Spammmm... Spain + South America: Major global spam producers.
► स्फीं - Swimmmm... Switzerland: Floating in the stormy European ocean.
► तां - Tammmmm... Taleban: U.S. composed military taming mantra.

Of the above mantras in works, Brazilia, Jamaica and Switzerland are good to go public and global anytime. The positive effects of the rest are still under scrutiny in our underground cognitive laboratories. We care for the condition of your mind and issue our mantras in a spirit of global responsibility, respecting universal happiness, good environmental standards, and those who respect those, who respect these.

World Powers: Localized Root Invocation Mantras

In practice, the universal seed-mantras can be combined with appropriate local magic invocations like "Aaccchaacchaa", "Perkele", "Yeehaa" or "Bonkers" for enhancing a sense of tribal commonality. When combined, they result in the following root-mantras or exhaustive straight invocations for the prevailing state of affairs:

► उसों यीहा - Usommmmm Yeehaa! · U.S.
► एउओं स्तन्देर्ध्स - Euommmmm Standards! · EU
► नोओं सोङ्ग - Nooommmm Soong! · North Korea
► फ्रों चुएस्तशेकेसे - Frommmmm Qu'est-ce Que C'est? · France
► सौहं स्पसिबपेरेस्त्रोइक - Soouhmmmm Spasiba Perestroika? · Soviet Union
► रों चोसनोस्त्र दि मएस्त्रो - Rommmm Cosa Nostra Di Maestro? · Italy
► उम्ं बोन्केर्स - Ummmmmmm Bonkers! · U.K.
► जपों फुजिक्योतोबोत्सन - Japommmmm Fujikyotobot-san! · Japan
► इङ्म्ं आच्छाच्छा - Imnmmmmm Accchaacchaaa!? · India
► छां छिङ्गशङ्गगोङ्ग्फु - Chammmm Ching Shang Gongfu!! · China
► श्वींङ् हेजसन - Swinnnggggg Hejsan! · Sweden
► फिं वीदूनौत् कोमेन्त - Fimmmmm Vii Duu Nöt Komment. · Euro/Finland
► सुॐ सिसुकस पेर्केले - Suommmmm Sisukas Perkele! · Suomi/Finland

Cosmic Mantra Laboratories recommends using the short seed mantras as primary devices for personal and cosmic transformation. The short universal mantras leave a healthier universal imprint, free from the constraints of national peculiarities. They also clutter your environment with less tribal residue and prevent fires arising from the friction of juxtapositionally vibrating tribes with diverging fundamental invocations of exhaustive intent. Remember to chant your mantras diligently to keep the cosmos humming.

Lord Blogannatha Svami rewards diligent chanters with supreme happiness!

Reincarnation Illustrated

If you ever meet a Hare Krishna devotee pushing books on a street corner, this is the general picture you will get about karma and reincarnation, and the need to break free from the cycle of transmigration.

Here's  they forget to tell you when they are recruiting you into the ranks — until it's too late... Caveat emptor!

"I'm a tweet wittow biwd in a diwded cage; Tweety'th my name but I don't know my age. I don't have to wuwy and dat is dat; I'm tafe in hewe fwom dat ol' putty tat."

Tweety knows the deal, and this indeed becomes the natural position of a living entity in the Hare Krishna movement. Mind you, on this one I can really say that I've been there and done that!

I Saw the Walrus

It's been quiet for awfully long. I have even received letters asking if everything's all right. Some have wondered what I've been up to, others have just kicked back and enjoyed the absence.

The questions are many. Inquiring minds want to know. Who is the eggman? Where did the walrus go?

Since time is at a premium these days, I thought it best to prepare the above illustration to explain all that and a bag of chips. I'll try and get back to more verbose writings towards the end of the summer.

Happy days in the meantime. Jaya Blogannatha!

YOU WILL BE ACBSPIMILATED

you will be acbspimilated | resistance is futile
your distinctiveness will be engaged to service us

There's more in common to the Hare Krishnas and the Borg than just the hairdo and the uniform uniform, but that's a topic for another time. Today it's just a picture that tells you the thousand words.

Raganuga.Com Audio Archives

The audio archives of the now retired Raganuga.Com are available for download at The Internet Archive:

Raganuga.Com Audio Archives

The download area contains all materials hosted under the lectures (patha) and songs (kirtana) sections of the site. Most of the materials come from Advaitadas's old source tapes I once cleaned up and uploaded.

The kirtana are recordings of songs primarily from Radha-kunda from over the decades. The patha are Advaitadas's translations of lectures by Pandit Ananta Das Babaji and Pandit Vaishnava Pada Das Babaji.

     

Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5, the media can be freely downloaded and shared. A special mention goes to The Internet Archive for their hosting service.

Total download size in MP3 (VBR) format is 1.9 GB. The files are available for download individually in several formats (MP3 64kbps, MP3 VBR, Ogg Vorbis) and in a single zip file.

Raganuga.Com Audio Archives

Star Wars: Cult Derelicts (DP)

Dissociated Press
Saturday, April 4, 2009
Hollywood, USA

The tragicomic saga of Ananda Skywalker, Finnish philosopher and Hare Krishna derelict, recently recognized as the prodigal son of a former cult leader, has finally reached the big screen. Written and directed by George Lucas, the narration is transplanted from the original alien environment into a familiar science fiction universe.

Screenshot with Wader and Skywalker from last week's Cult Derelicts teaser.

Matching expectations from fans worldwide, the long-waited Hollywood rendering of the saga explores the love-hate relationship of young Padawan and Dark Wader in substantial detail. While the juicy revelations do explain a great deal of Wader's obsessive-compulsive disorder towards Skywalker, rumors abound even the director doesn't know what exactly is going on in Wader's head.

Distributed by Warner Bros, the flick is scheduled for global release on April 15th. While heavily criticized by critics, fans have been going nuts with trailers and sneak peeks at SWcultDerelicts.Com. Looks like another box office rattler from George Lucas in the coming, whatever the critics' opinion!

Infidels Against Prabhupada!

"We have organisation, men and money ready for the long fight ahead. As we said before, we will not rest until Srila Prabhupada's movement is returned back to Srila Prabhupada, brick by brick."

— IRM: ISKCON Revival Movement

Butters takes on the cause: Back to Prabhupada! Down with the Infidels!
Background: Ruoholahdenkatu 24, Helsinki — Infidel Headquarters

Blog: GeeVees - The Gaudiya Archive

As many of you will have noticed, I came to write quite a bit on Gaudiya Vaishnavism during the last five years of my active practice. These writings are now scattered all across the internet, some on sites that have gone defunct. While I may no longer share an adherent's interest in the tradition, I see no reason why valuable content shouldn't be available to the interested.

[ http://geevees.blogspot.com/ ]

GeeVees was founded to archive the varieties of informative content I wrote during my active Gaudiya Vaishnava years, gradually filling up as a resource for students of Gaudiya Vaishnavism. Over time, I am going over all my old writings and posting, sometimes remodeled, them into the archive. I'm certain the tag feature will prove to be a useful tool for more systematic studies. Browse the growing archives at GeeVees!

GeeVees - 01.2: Early Experiences with Chanting

My early experiences with japa, or chanting Hare Krishna in this particular case, were in fact rather fascinating. It was only a decade later that I came to rediscover some of the same substance I touched on back then, substance soon lost in the depths of a missionary organization, and it was only then that I came to see a broader context for that particular segment of my early spiritual journey.

Bhakta Oskari, 15 years of age, posing for the temple magazine.

Japa Beginnings

The first vivid memory of my history with the Hare Krishna mantra is from one of those 40-minute bus rides to my mother's place I used to take every other weekend. It was a serene day, and as the bus kept humming its tranquil hymn and drove along the road, I closed my eyes as usual to contemplate on whatever it was that I used to ponder those days. Then, wholly out of the blue, it dawned to me that meditating on this mantra might be a cool thing to do.

It was only a matter of time before the occasional contemplation turned into loud melodic chantings of Hare Krishna as I wandered the forests of the neighborhood. There was no source to the discovery I'd have known of, if not for a cautionary video shown in school some years back, featured along with Satanism and Scientology by our back-then religion teacher, a staunch Christian and a priest of many years, whose generally less exciting presentations we weren't in the habit of paying much attention to.

Of course I did eventually meet a Hare Krishna book distributor, a Czech lady it was if memory serves, downtown Helsinki, buying a copy of Bhaktivedanta's "Life Comes from Life" to study; I had been tremendously interested in all things occult, oriental and esoteric. It was after a few weeks into visiting the weekly Sunday Love Feast at the local Krishna temple that I decided to purchase a set of japa-beads and start the mantra the way the devotees chanted, with some daily volume in the practice. My one regret with following their method is in ditching mental japa for some seven more years to come — for one was supposed to chant audibly in ISKCON.

Spring of Ecstasy

I believe it was autumn at this point. With the first day off with but four rounds of japa, the next day I kicked off with sixteen, as that seemed to be a standard number of sorts held in the temple. While I understood that many devotees held reservations over chanting near outsiders, I was not in the least worried; for it was only cool if someone spotted you engaged in something obscure and puzzling! My purple bead-bag with a Jagannath design, tagging along wherever I went, drew quite a few curious looks, yet few questions.

The practically endless pine forests in my neighborhood, in particular, provided a wonderful field for aimless solitary wanderings with the mantra rolling on. I remember deriving tremendous enjoyment from the practice. In fact, I remember being so thrilled at times that I had to sit down to let my system balance before moving on; a trait particularly inconvenient when moving around downtown, chanting. What I felt rather constantly as a result of chanting was an overwhelming surge of energy within my body, thrilling my limbs and warming up my face to a glow hitherto unknown to me. I suppose the almost forcibly manifest grin was the most visible of part of it all.

I only ever mentioned to one devotee of this. He was a new devotee as well, though already living in the ashram. A casual conversation on all things spiritual and sundry made for a perfect context to drop in my version of esoteric experience; it met with a puzzled shrug of shoulders, and then nothing. And for a reason: For it was believed that trembling of the body, grinning and laughing, dancing and the such were only manifest on the advanced stages of devotion, realms that were for the most part taboo, and were certainly not to be imitated under any circumstances.

This went on for a fair while, as I still lived home and kept going to school — and with tremendous effort at that, I might add, and with many a boring lesson chanted through. And good times they were; I was still buzzing at the height of discovery, for I had tapped into a whole new world to be explored, a magical world transcending the everyday reality I saw the surrounding society embrace and adore; it was a hollow world to me, the nine-to-five cycle of existence.

Covered Over

At this point, with the intensity of my experiences combined with my acquaintance with a couple of really cool temple devotees, it should come as a small surprise that I decided to join the temple after finishing my compulsory studies. I was in business with the chanting now, and the venture deserved to be seen through. After a bit of haggling with my parents, I secured a signed permission for becoming a resident of the temple, allowing me to "stay permanently" as I had promptly formed the agreement clause.

It didn't take too long for the magic of chanting to wane in the hectic temple environment, however. Constant traveling around and selling books and CDs took its toll, and hours spent chanting too early in the morning in too tired a state eventually led to a dramatic decrease in looking forward to the chanting experience, and subsequently in my interest in the practice itself. I did keep it going, of course, as a matter of obligation, but I had come a long way — and in the wrong direction — by abiding with the defunct modus operandi of the local temple and its hectic missionary spirit.

The standard explanation, of course, was an offensive attitude; there were ten offenses against the holy name that were taught of, and one way or another one could always imagine being guilty of at least one or the other. Then, as one might well expect, instead of biting into the root distractor in the way of inappropriate environment and circumstances, the offense-watching became a convenient facade for a failure to reach substantial levels of experience in chanting. And then, of course, it was supposed to be done for Krishna's pleasure, not mine, so I was wrong to seek bliss and euphoria in the practice in any case to begin with.

Rediscovering the Experience

It was only in 2005 that I began to explore the yogic arts deeper, still a staunch devotee, seeking to improve my sadhana. It so happened that one of our teachers, now at Radha-kunda, had also had a bit of a training in yoga, and had employed certain asanas or yogic sitting postures to support his chanting. (This, of course, is how you are actually supposed to be doing it, as any proper manual of sadhana ought to inform.) Mental japa combined with proper asanas and breathing techniques gave a substantial boost to my practice; it was as if all that preceded had not really amounted to much at all.

Incidentally, as I went further with my own studies of yogic meditation aids, I chanced upon the writings of late Swami Sivananda, an illustrious teacher of Yoga and Vedanta from Rishikesh, who called his way the Yoga of Synthesis and employed all relevant aspects of the four yogic paths, namely karma, jnana, astanga and bhakti-yogas. He was a big fan of devotion and chanting, and especially of sankirtan-styled chanting of Hare Krishna among other chants.

His perspective on diverse paths leading through a similar evolution towards the same goal put me first thinking, both curious and suspicious about practices comparable with my chanting experience. It was a text on kundalini-yoga that first depicted rather aptly symptoms akin to my early experience; parallels between bhava-bhakti and early kundalini-awakening were too evident to be ignored. In later solitary chanting sessions combined with pranayama I came to experience quite exactly the same as I had in my early days, and as I now was wiser on kundalini the unity of experiences became all too evident.

When I first embarked on studying the Buddhist theory of meditation, it became all too clear for me that we were dealing with universals. The Buddhist model for samadhi-oriented meditation featured a system of a whole hierarchy of meditation objects, and a general course of progress over which concentration grows and awakens certain states of mind. The first jhana, or meditative absorption, features the rising of an abundance of rapture and joy and is born of withdrawal arising from single-minded application of thought on the meditation object. In the second jhana, the experience springs from composure and unified awareness, and so forth — regardless of the object of meditation.

Conclusions

As to whether there is a certain hidden chamber in the mantra, yielding an abundance of extraordinary and transcendental relish and euphoria directly from the energy and presence of the rustic deity Krishna, or whether similar states of mind can be attained with diverse stimuli, I cannot say with any level of certainty. Though I did have my fair share of experiences one could call esoteric or deep, I suspect with a sufficient level of practice with a different object one could attain well comparable states of fascination and esoteric emotional turmoil.

Chanting Hare Krishna, or any mantra for that matter, when properly practiced in a conducive environment, can lead to a substantial level of concentration and inner mastery. While I no longer share a fascination for verbal meditation objects, I have no complaints of the process itself in principle, when practiced properly and in a balanced manner. However, excessive concentration endeavor is counter-productive, for with the rise of hectic concentration every surfacing negative mental pattern gains momentum.

Practiced in a distracting environment and under pressure, especially over filling daily quotas, japa becomes but a cruel means of beating the mind and sapping it out of its last vital juices. It should not, under any circumstances, be recommended to mend mental problems, lest they escalate as the wheels of the mind grind tighter and tighter. Contemplative methods such as vipassana hold much more therapeutic value for those seeking to first set straight the rudimentary inner landscape.

Hare Krishna Swami Loses Soul (DP)

Dissociated Press
January 17, 2009
Helsinki, Finland

In an unprecedented "Stay High Forever" temple music festival, Anatma Swami, a fired-up Hare Krishna preacher, lost grip of his wildly whirling monk partner and flew headlong into a larger-than-life copper

replica of the movement founder's lotus feet by an open window.

As the Swami failed to respond to conventional first aid, temple authorities alerted for resident witch doctor Shittiwawa Das, an Indian tantric adept and leading disciple of retired guru Bob Haripada, for help. At the conclusion of a fair fifteen minutes of exotic rattling, popping, muttering, whisking and bouncing, Das concluded the patient's soul had departed in the crash and required urgent re-insertion.

All resident devotees have patrolled downtown Helsinki since yesterday afternoon, the time of the incident, passing out pamphlets urging for the lost soul's founder to return the precious commodity to its rightful owner – in return for the Swami's abundant and perpetual blessings. Sources tell former guru Bob Haripada found his soul in the late 90's with the help of a female therapist.

The soul in question is described as bearing a strong resemblance to 1:10,000th fragment of a male Caucasian hair tip, following the verdict of an ancient Hindu philosophical text. One ten-thousandth part of an average Caucasian tip of hair measures at an average of 0,0075 µm. Temple authorities were not available for comment on distinguishing the Swami's soul from any number of other souls probably lost downtown Helsinki. (DP)

GeeVees - 01.1: Theology of God's Name

Continuing series The Nectar Name: 01.1 - Theology of God's Name

Namacharya Ramdas Babaji seated, chanting on a rosary

There are a number of theological formulations delving into the nature of God's name, the primary of which are summarized in the following sections. In the name of compactness and ease of reading, I have omitted quoting and referencing. For useful scriptural sources on the theme, please refer to Bhaktivinoda Thakura: Harinama-cintamani; Jiva Goswami: Bhakti-sandarbha; and Rupa Goswami: Bhakti-rasamrita-sindhu.

Non-duality of Name and Named

The heart of the Name's powers lie in its non-duality with the named, or Krishna. As God is understood to be of an absolute nature, he and everything we perceive of as relating to him are equally present in him, and are him. His name, appearance, qualities and activities form a single presence in distinct interwoven aspects. The word Name, indicating this particular powerful name, has been capitalized for clarity.

Then, in principle, when the name of God is chanted, it is equal to being in God's presence and interacting directly with him. The only distinctions the Gaudiya Vaishnava theologians would admit to is one of mercy; the Name is abundantly available, while God in his full persona aspect is difficult indeed to reach and as such less merciful. This is, of course, but a witty poetic play of words on the canvas of theology, highlighting the applicability of the method.

Three Levels of Experience

It was Kedarnath Datta Bhaktivinoda, author and theologian of late 19th century, who first published the tripartite theological formulation of the Name's aspects, even while diverse depths of experience have been long acknowledged. A graded approach is an important chapter in apologetics over the proposed full presence of God in his name vis-a-vis the lack of correlating immediate experience for the practitioner.

Nama-aparadha, or offending the Name, is the shallowest of levels where hardly any of the powers of God are experienced. At this point, one is still riddled with countless attitude flaws towards the Name despite knowledge of the Name's nature — flaws discussed later on. The pious merits resulting from such chanting are good for worldly boons alone, failing to reach beyond into God's own domain.

Nama-abhasa, or reflected Name, is the medium clearing level where rays of the Name begin to filter into the brightening consciousness. A reflection of the Name is said to grant instant mukti or liberation. Indeed, it is said that even a person chanting in jest, by accident, or referring to something else, would reap the said benefits (and this is a whole other branch of apologetics).

Suddha-nama, or pure Name, is the accomplished level where the fullness of Krishna is experienced through, or rather in, the Name. The chanter's consciousness journeys into the Name's own domain, into the spiritual sky of Krishna. This stage, and the subsequent experience of prema or developed love for God, is said to far supersede the joy of liberation. Associated hymns depict the experience as a climax of rapture that is incessantly relished, yet leaving the devotee addicted, craving for more, and again and again.

The founding eulogy of the dimensions of the fully potent Name, especially when chanted congregationally, reads as follows in Sri Chaitanya's words:

"It cleanses the mirror of the mind; it extinguishes the vast forest fire of material existence; it spreads the soothing moonrays of blessing; it is the life of bride Knowledge; it augments the ocean of bliss; nectar finds full relish at at every step; and it bathes the entire self; supreme victory to the full chanting of Sri Krishna's names!" (Siksastaka 1)

The sufficiency of the Name in Sri Chaitanya's view is evident in how its transforming influence extends from the very bottom to the very top, from the depths of ignorance and suffering to the greatest heights of nectarine relish in a rapturous communion with God.

The Standard Mantra

While the names of God are many, there is one particular formula of three names repeated a total of 16 names that Sri Chaitanya recognized as the foremost of all. The mantra is drawn from Kali-santarana-upanishad, a short text of a relatively late date, conventionally classified under Black Yajur-veda, and reads as follows:

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna Krishna Krishna Hare Hare /
Hare Rama Hare Rama Rama Rama Hare Hare //

While a traditional interpretation would have Hare as a vocative of Hari, and all three as Hari's names, some Gaudiya interpreters (e.g. Gopala Guru) also derive it from Harā, a feminine of Hari, indicating Radha, who steals away Krishna's mind. Many non-Gaudiya renderings of the text have the lines reversed, starting with Hare Rama.

The Upanishad promises a vast number of boons including liberation to one who chants it a total of 35 million times. On a rosary with 108 beads, at a rate of 64 rounds daily, the project would take approximately fourteen years to complete. There are, of course, all sorts of other boons mentioned in other sources, so no matter which way you do it, someone has promised something good for the effort.

Incidentally, a rough estimate of my extensive chantings over the years come to a non-calculated surprise total of 35,714,520 mantras, most marks on the chart towards the end of the session with a bunch of two-hundred-rounders on good days. Perchance that is why I finally graduated from Gaudiya Vaishnavism! Regardless, this is the mantra almost every Gaudiya Vaishnava chants daily for a lifetime, some more and some less.

Song and Repetitive Recitation

There are two primary applications for the Name, namely singing (kirtan) and private recitation (japa). Kirtan, sung to the accompaniment of instruments such as hand cymbals and clay drums, is generally a congregational practice where each participant contributes to the cumulative experience of the group. The prefix sam- turns the word into sankirtan, which refers to kirtan done in a grand style, e.g. parading en masse on the streets, or otherwise to a kirtan of particularly sublime depth.

Japa or private recitation is done on a rosary consisting of 108 beads (japa-mala), made of sacred Tulasi wood and especially sanctified for the purpose, often by a guru in an initiation ceremony. One mantra is either recited, muttered or meditated on at each bead, and a turn-around at the large Meru-bead starts a round anew. Japa is an individual practice, in which one works on his own individual relationship with the Name.

The Name also functions in an accessory and completing capacity in a myriad of other Gaudiya Vaishnava practices. It is said to be essential among the constituents of the secret and silently contemplated diksha-mantras, and believed to complete diverse ritual practices by making up for any inadvertent shortcomings. Chanting of the Name is classified as a compulsory root practice, in the absence of which lesser practices would remain deficient.

GeeVees - 01: The Nectar Name

The holy name of god features extensively throughout the theology and practice of Gaudiya Vaishnavism, a trend not at all unknown to other Hindu traditions. The chanting of god's names, and in particular the names of Hari, or Krishna, is described as the most accessible and ideal way of dharma in our corrupted times. The founding theologicians and poets of the tradition have dedicated countless hymns and chapters of philosophy to describe the wonders of god's name as understood in their tradition.

It was of course Sri Chaitanya, the founder of the tradition, who popularized the practice while breaking a number of religious orthodoxies. Parading the roads of rural Bengal in the early 16th century, he carried his fervent religious ecstasies to the masses and taught to connect with god through the chanting of his holy names, both in song and by reciting on a rosary. For him, it represented the ultimate means of connection and communion with his chosen deity.

In this essay, we are going to explore the world of chanting in its many facets, featuring a number of detailed theological formulations bundled with a flowing out-of-the-box commentary, along with my personal experiences over the years in diverse environments. Keen as I have been to improve and improvise in whatsoever I happen to be at, I suspect a few novel angles of interest on the dynamics of the meditational practice in chanting will surface; I do not attempt to write an orthodox adherent's account.

The bulk of the original content to follow on the details of the practice, when taken to extensive length, are drawn from my experiences during my time in Vraja spanning 2002-2007, from times I was working my way towards levels of practice seen in the local renunciates of full commitment, dissatisfied with anything less. Most of the content featuring basic obstacles and diverse backward applications spans from my early years in ISKCON from mid-90's onwards, from rather unfocused times as far as meditative absorption was concerned.

To be continued...

GeeVees - Preview - 01: The Nectar Name

In laying out the skeleton for the GeeVees series, it seems evident by the extent of it that some items must have gone missing... Here's a call to the readers to pitch in and let me know of any missing themes.

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Theologically Speaking

- Non-duality of name and named
- Three levels of experience
- The standard mantra
- Song and repetitive recitation


Early Experiences

- Japa beginnings
- Spring of ecstasy
- Covered over


Grid of Offences

- The ten offences
- Offending a devotee
- The unwholesome root


Applications of Mantra-japa

- Three kinds of japa
- Concentration and withdrawal
- Connecting with a deity
- Weaving the vibration


Extended Practice

- 100,000 names
- Chanting all day long
- Benefits and harms


Common Problems

- Ignorance of methods
- Uncontrolled mind
- Exhausted with repetition
- Physical obstacles
- Unfit environment


Alternative Methods

... for easy application beyond situation, culture and religion ...

- Breath watching and body scan
- Chanting other mantras
- Trataka and object meditation
- Vipassana introspection
- Other yogic and tantric traditions

GeeVees - Future installments

As I've been drafting together my notes for the upcoming GeeVees series, if anything has become obvious it's the need to cut it down into smaller chunks for better online digestion. As it stands, the first essay on the drawing board, The Nectar Name, has some dozen subheadings and sub-subs, set into a trilevel structure (e.g. 2.5.2).

I'll be publishing each of the main subsections as individual entries over the days, weeks and months to come. In total, I expect the full series to grow into around a hundred installments. I'll be posting drafts of the chapter structure each time, and feedback from the readers on missing content is welcome.

National Enquirer Hare Krishna Edition

NEHKE (National Enquirer - Hare Krishna Edition) was written by an anonymous genius over several years, published around the internet at several forums now long forgotten. A certain scribe collected them so as to preserve good laughs for future generations.

Pagal Baba, fresh back from a tour of the Saturnian moons, had this to say: "The original NEHKE reporter might still be lurking out there somewhere, feeding and gathering strength, waiting for the opportunity to tickle our hysteria one more time..."

Entries are reposted at a rate of one every day as long as they last. And if the original NEHKE reporter is somewhere out there reading all this, I'm an e-mail away and you're free to post the latest news here!

National Enquirer Hare Krishna Edition
http://nehke.blogspot.com/

GeeVees - 00: Roots

The GeeVees is a series of articles covering reflections from a decade of spiritual and religious practice, lessons every bit as valuable for current and former Gaudiya Vaishnava adherents as they are for the thoughtful interpreter able to penetrate the universals in motion.


My Brief History with the Tradition

In the early age of fifteen, a rush of sudden interest brought me to the shore of Hinduism in my ongoing quest for curiosities. It was the Hare Krishna faith that I first met, the only extant Hindu sect in Finland offering prospects for a committed contemplative life. My initial expectations of life as a monk were soon betrayed, however, as I embarked on a tour that was to last the better part of my five monk years as a missionary promoting the movement’s literature.

The escalating discomfort with duty versus absorption, combined with a major fall-out with the then-guru, one of the many leaders of the movement who later came to retire from the obligations of guruhood and vanish to the fringes of the movement, led me, now a married man of nineteen, to seek a more genuine experience of spirituality along the lines I had chosen. Further disappointments with the movement’s leadership had me looking beyond for answers — answers I was to find with an elderly Indian guru of the same tradition making his grand tour across the West.

Hopes soon perished, with less than two years in the group, as my plate was filled with vain hopes, hollow prospects and scores of internal conflict. With all the verbal profundity, it turned out to be little more than a personality cult with more charlatans than actual substance. The trail of much of the half-baked esoterics led to the old school Gaudiya Vaishnava renunciates living in the Braj area of northern India, where I was later initiated by an old scholar, chairman of the renunciate assembly at Radhakund.

It was more than theory that I had sought, however, and naturally connected with more teachers to get hands-on experience on the lifestyle and practices of the babaji tradition. A certain charismatic teacher, singer and meditator in his own right, had us under his tutelage for the better part of four years, a time that opened whole new horizons on the content of the religious and mystic substance of the tradition. Partially brilliant and partially bizarre teachings, sometimes incongruent with the common doctrine, combined with behavior that had more to it than just personality quirks, led me away from him, and astray as far as my then-wife was concerned.

In the span the year following our divorce, I lived the better half in the way of the traditional babaji ascetics, myself engaged in intense practice day in and day out, in quantities easily eclipsing a decade of ordinary practice, whatever the quality may have been. Meeting with yet another disappointment of a teacher, and more dead-ends and impassable lands than paths you could decently walk, a return to a blank drawing board had me moving on for an indefinite pilgrimage without any particular destination.


In the Times Beyond

In late February 2008, I jumped onto a train towards Varanasi for the upcoming Shiva Ratri festival. The original plan was to head towards Orissa, exploring the combination of old Buddhist ruins and grand Hindu shrines in the general area. That, and the Puri beaches were quite inviting too. From there, I would have taken the grand circuit across the four principal Buddhist places of pilgrimage in the north. It was not to be, however — not yet, anyway.

In Sarnath, a Buddhist center half-an-hour drive outside Varanasi, I bumped into a colorful group of Buddhist monks from the Thai Theravada school. The Irish monk was heading south and incidentally had a spare train ticket. Off we went, visiting Ramana Maharshi’s ashram in Tiruvannamalai and Sai Baba’s headquarters in Puttaparthi, for a two-week tour and back. I had considered dropping off in Chennai and flying over to Sri Lanka to explore the ancient Buddhist ruins and the contemporary scene, but I rather liked both his company and his plans.

Returning to Varanasi, we were joined by a Romanian-American nun and two Thai monks for a walk towards Lumbini, the birthplace of the Buddha in southern Nepal just across the border. Crossing some seven hundred kilometers on foot over three weeks, I got to know the lot rather well. With all the positives, however, I understood their way of life was not cut out for me, not the way it was available in the contemporary setting anyway. I decided to stay back in Kathmandu as they left for a bus-and-train journey back to Varanasi.

It was Kathmandu where I was based for four months, spending time with friends old and new, working with a few NGOs, exploring the mountains and the world of men in a way I had never seen it before. It was a time of great evolution, re-modeling the past and transforming into a new being, an individual being who was no longer subject to rules of religious conformance.

A liberation in its own right, it created a grand arena of contemplations for me. Thence are the thoughts that follow in the upcoming essays, written over a cool Scandinavian winter near a crackling fireplace, surrounded by familiar nature-spirits and a regenerating atmosphere, a muse and a friend of many years sitting by my side.


On Gaudiya Vaishnavism

The religious tradition founded by Sri Chaitanya (1486-1534) came to be called Gaudiya Vaishnavism owing to the ancient name (Gauda) of its motherland, Bengal. Sri Chaitanya’s was a devotional movement, bent in its core on mystical absorption and participation in the cosmic drama of Radha and Krishna, the tradition’s transcendent god and goddess. The outer praxis was that of a people’s movement, ecstatic preachers and wandering bards spreading the gospel of Sri Chaitanya far and wide, the chanting of the holy names of god brought to every town and village in the movement’s path.

The theological foundation, based on elaborations on Sri Chaitanya’s teaching, was laid by the six Goswamis, renunciate disciples of his, scholars in their own right with abundant time to commit to philosophical pursuits in the rustic environment of Vrindavan, the place of Krishna’s sports in the years bygone. It is especially the Vrindavan tradition that holds the meditational practices in the highest value, generation after generation preserving, interpreting and elaborating on the esoteric heritage of the Goswamis.

On grassroots level, the basics of Gaudiya Vaishnavism are not that radically different from other devotional Hindu movements. Some of the tradition’s later mutations, the Hare Krishnas for a good example, appear to have almost entirely shunned the esoteric tradition, favoring a public digest version of Hindu devotional religion with a few idiosyncrasies thrown in. The stripped version of the tradition is not, however, too compelling for a western audience, for one might just as well choose any other tradition that is better localized and established, being left with every bit as much substance with fewer cultural complications.

At its heart, beyond preliminary ideas of understanding the nature of spirit and matter and their interconnection with god, the Gaudiya Vaishnava tradition aims to dissociate the psyche of the adherent from the present state, associating it with a sense of identification with the residents of Krishna’s transcendent heaven realm. The inner sensation of the adherent evolves from faith through various steps to fulfilled love, transporting his soul and mind away from the current world and implanting them in the spirit-identity. It is the fundamental incompatibility of the two worlds that most serious practitioners seem to struggle with.


Appeal for the Adherent

As it is now officially declared across the vast internet fields that I am an apostate unworthy of association, why would a practicing Gaudiya Vaishnava dare reading my writings? There may, after all, be lurking many a seed-of-doubt, crisis-of-faith and confusing-concept under the foliage. It would perhaps be better to just sleep in the cradle of belief, shielded from influences that could expose you to the unwanted.

The fact of the matter is that I was every bit as much in the cradle as most of my former comrades of faith, and these are the issues I had to confront as I rocked in the cradle over the years. They are real issues, and they deserve to be explored. Whether my solutions are real is immaterial; it is the questions we must all unearth and ponder in our depths. Unlocking the questions may, in fact, turn out to be a mine of potentials revealed with the perspective expansion.

I am sometimes asked whether it might be better to just forget about it all myself, and indeed I have received a fair hate mail or two over my writings. It is absurd for anyone to assume that twelve years of intense practice, and by far the biggest continuous tract of my life so far, is something one could just wipe aside as if it never existed. And neither do I see a valid reason for it, inasmuch I may have the ability to observe subtleties beyond a black-and-white model of absolutes.

The many valuable lessons of my Gaudiya Vaishnava years remain with me as an active facet of my sphere of understanding. Experiences positive or negative, they were all due coming and molded me in the ways I needed, crashing into my life one after another on karmic tracks beyond my capacity to observe. They were all good, for they were all for the good, and I believe sharing of the experience is something that may help others in good, too. The disinclined are cordially invited to exclude themselves from the audience.


Appeal for the Broader Audience

No activity occurs in vacuum, in a dimension void of connections to the rest of human existence, and no idea is too contextually bound to become a slave to its times and unfit for broader application. The lessons learned over the journey, a journey still rather incomplete, have countless parallels in the countless lives of many akin to myself. It is for the perceptive seeker, student and master that I write, for those able to extract and reinvent, drawing from the identity of principles beyond the specifics.

While the parallel themes are developed to an extent in the upcoming essays, there’s a long way for me to go until a comprehensive, or even a half-way decent system of archetypal concepts is in place. The readers are invited to take my observations as seeds of inspiration, fountains for rivers and oceans of understandings exceeding mine a thousand-fold.

As Indic religion in general, Gaudiya Vaishnava talk is riddled with Sanskrit-rooted jargon and very specific and detailed uses of context-related terminology. I will be doing my best to keep the text friendly for non-expert readers, glossing the unavoidable complications and choosing colloquial terms wherever possible. Blind as I am with my own writing, an obtuse language-gremlin or two may escape the hunt — please feel at ease with giving feedback on any and all aspects of the forthcoming series.

Protect Space Bunnies - A Call for Arms

Folks at the comments department have been wondering what I'm doing. A general sense of curiosity is in the air particularly on what I am doing right now...

The thing is, as the following grotesque illustration from the Internet demonstrates, evil bitches have set out to exterminate the race of Space Bunnies once and for all. Can anyone with a heart just stand by as our innocent space hare brothers are being persecuted without mercy!

 

A call for arms is hereby issued from the Royal Ministry of Space Bunnies, led by venerable Easter Bunny Jr. Watch for a draft booth in your neighbourhood! Down with the eevil biutches! Hooray!

GeeVees - The Great Repercussion

The random audience has repeatedly sought my comments on diverse subjects related to the Gaudiya Vaishnava tradition, of which I was a part in its several forms for well over a decade. This six-part series should contain most of the themes on my mind at the time of this writing, the outcome of countless nights of reflection, creative contrasting, recontextualization, and selective discarding or re-adaptation of old mental constructs.

• 00: Roots — On my background, on Gaudiya Vaishnavism, on the purposes of this series.
  
• The Nectar Name — Reflections on my experiences with chanting the name, subsequent experiences contrasted with other traditions.
• Ritual Culture — Integating into a native Gaudiya Vaishnava environment, mastering a culture of ritual purity and superstitions.
  
• Gopi Girls Forever — A gloss on the method of living in the "love land", reflections on its applications, psychological dimensions.
• Agamas and Sahajiya Roots — The natural human and the fundamental divinity of duality, heterodox roots of the methods of worship.
• Divinities and Tantric Buddhism — Archetypal deities and classical tantric deity practice, Tibetan Buddhist methods and theologies.
• The Human God — Dimensions of divinity, graded perceptions of dualistic, antropomorphic god and the dimension of nondual existence.
• Doctrinal Picks — Fundamentally valuable aspects in the Gaudiya Vaishnava doctrine, their universal application.

None of the essays that are to follow should be considered final in terms of research. Think of them as previews, alpha-version renderings of elaborate themes. I have no timeline for the current production, I work on pure inspiration. Bear with me and enjoy the ride.

Hot tips for celibating

Back in my days in the Hare Krishna movement and beyond, I learned a handy trick or two from successful celibates (Sanskrit: brahmacari). These particular lessons come from observing a fellow monk who tied up his genitals with straps of cloth with the fury of a grumpy old sailor, the great icon of repressed manhood that he was.

1.

Kaupina is a traditional Hindu ascetic's underwear, generally made of two pieces of cloth, one serving as a belt, the other (fourteen fists long and two palms wide) as the covering flap folded over the front and tied or wrapped in the back. Ascetics who actually know their stuff install a number of protective deities into the cloth prior to wearing it.

Wearing a kaupina is supposed to be the magic masala for celibates, creating an effect called urdhva-retah or upward-flowing semen in accomplished sublimators, leading to heightened levels of spiritual energy and psychic ability. However, it's damn uncomfortable if you're sweating, jogging or under general stress.

The master fix (and people actually pay hundreds of dollars to learn this secret!) is folding the sacred underwear over swimming pants. Yes, just wearing a pair of Speedo swimming pants with a set of kaupinas wrapped tight around will guarantee you years of pleasant celibacy!

2.

Women are also bad and evil and do not deserve to be looked in the eyes, for twinkly female eyes emanate a special radiation that makes the kaupinas go loose and the head spin around. The traditional fix is to turn your gaze to the floor.

However, being a temple president or other such pompous authority figure who needs to constantly deal with women, neck strain and even chronic neck pain can become a very real threats to a well-rounded and comfortable celibate life.

The easy shortcut fix is to simply move your gaze down far enough to keep it safely off the radiating face area. Experienced manager brahmacaris recommend moving the gaze 20-25 cm down from the chin. A pair of breasts, located conveniently in the safe zone, provide a safe visual focal point for a pair of easily agitated celibate eyes.

I have never tested the second tip owing to obvious concerns with possible kaupina issues, but apparently it has been tested and proven. The ladies in the ashrama seemed to be well aware of this evasion strategy. I won't elaborate on lady counter-methods for drawing the gaze back upwards in fear of sounding sexist or politically incorrect.

~~~o-

Since brahmacaris are however technically speaking supposed to digest a whole volley of abuses as education in humility (that helps you celibate), I have not exercised the same caution in this text. If any brahmacari feels offended or otherwise morose, we can perhaps meet and have a friendly chat over a cup of herbal tea, celibating together for a silent moment as a symbol of friendship and goodwill.