Buddha Blast: Conquering the Cosmic Winds

The following text originates in Maharatnakuta-sutra, an excerpt from the legend of Magician Bhadra's attainment of buddhahood. It holds interest in a number of ways, perhaps the most intriguing the highly superlative description of the Buddha's powers. The description is particularly fascinating in the light of the fact that neither the Buddha nor his followers ever declared him to be anything equivalent to a creator-god or other cosmic godheads or avatars, but rather depicted him as a man who worked his way up the cosmic ladder over eons and eons of time.

Extracted from Garma C.C. Chang's translation under the title "A Treasury of Mahayana Sutras", Motilal Banarsidass, 1991 (online). Subheadings mine. In contrast to the Pali scriptures, the Mahayana canon is decidedly more juicy and abundant in its descriptions of the Buddha, even if it causes the scene of the narratives to switch from a more history-flavored one into a world of magic and mysteries.

aṇor aṇīyān mahato mahīyān

ātmāsya jantor nihito guhāyām /
tama-kratuḥ paśyati vīta-śoko

dhātu-prasādān mahimānam ātman //

"Smaller than the smallest, greater than the greatest,
the self is hidden in the creature's heart.
Crosser of darkness, conqueror of pleasure and pain,
In elemental tranquility, he perceives the majesty of the self."

The anatman-doctrine (teaching of no permanent self) of the Buddhists notwithstanding, the narration that follows is almost a perfect commentary as if it were on this classic aphorism of Katha-upanishad (2.20), an early philosophical work seminal to the teachings of later Hindu philosophers. The exposition of ten cosmic wind wheels reflects the elemental principles of derivative causation found in both Buddhist and Taoist schools of metaphysical and analytical thought.

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Powers of the Tathagata

When the magician saw that the World-Honored One had accepted his invitation, he thought, "Gautama does not know my intention; he is definitely not an All-Knowing One." Then he bowed and took his leave.

The Venerable Maudgalyayana was in the asembly at that time and saw what had happened. He approached the Buddha and said to him, "Bhadra intends to deceive the Tathagata and the monks. May the World-Honored One decline his invitation!"

The Buddha told Maudgalyayana, "Do not think in this way. Only those who have desire, hatred, and ignorance can be deceived, but I eradicated those defilements long ago, for I realized that not a single dharma ever arises. I have been firmly abiding in right action for many kalpas. How can anyone deceive me?

"Now, you should know that the magician does not perform real magic, but the Tathagata does. Why? Because the Tathagata realizes here and now that all dharmas are illusory. Even if all the sentient beings were as skilled in magic as Bhadra, all their magical powers combined could not compare with those of the Tathagata, even if their powers were multiplied by a hundred, a thousand, or any amount, numerical or figurative."

Producing Billion-world Universes

The Buddha asked Maudgalyayana, "What do you think? Can the magician magically produce a billion-world universe and magnificently adorn all of it?"

Maudgalyayana answered, "No."

The Buddha said, "Maudgalyayana, you should know that I can magically produce magnificently adorned worlds, as numerous as the sands of the Ganges, inside a hair's tip, and even this does not exhaust the Tathagata's miraculous powers.

The Great Cosmic Wind Wheels

"Maudgalyayana, you should know that there is a great wind-wheel called Breaker that can break a billion-world universe to pieces.
   "There is another wind wheel called Great Hurricane that can ruin worlds and then rebuild them.
   "There is another wind wheel called Propeller that can revolve worlds.
   "There is another wind wheel called Secure Abiding that can blow as high as the Akanistha Heaven.
   "There is another wind wheel called Scatterer that can whirl away and scatter Mount Sumeru, the Black Mountain, and other mountains.
   "There is another wind wheel called Fierce Flame that can blow fierce flames up to the Brahma Heaven during the raging conflagration at the end of a kalpa.
   "There is another wind wheel called Quencher that can quench the raging conflagration at the end of a kalpa.
   "There is another wind wheel called Cool that can cause a cloud to cover a billion-world universe.
   "There is another wind wheel called Universal Downpour that can pour down heavy rains on the worlds during the raging conflagration at the end of a kalpa.
   "There is another wind wheel called Drying Up that can dry up the spreading flood at the end of a kalpa. There are so many wind wheels that I could not finish enumerating them even if I spoke until the end of this kalpa. All this, Maudgalyayana, you should know.

Conquering the Great Wind Wheels

"What do you think? Can the magician dwell securely in any of these wind wheels for a moment?"

Maudgalyayana answered, "No."

The Buddha told Maudgalyayana: "The Tathagata can walk, stand, sit, and lie undisturbed in the wind wheels.  The Tathagata can also put those wind wheels into a mustard seed and display their motions without the mustard seed either expanding or contracting, and without the wind wheels in the seed obstructing each other. Maudgalyayana, you should know that the feats of magic accomplished by the Tathagata have no limit."

When the Venerable Maudgalyayana and the assembly heard the Tathagata's words, they were all overwhelmed by wonder and awe. They all bowed down before the Buddha and exclaimed in unison, "Because we have now met the great Teacher who has these awe-inspiring miraculous powers, we are greatly blessed. One who has the opportunity to hear of the wonderful miraculous powers of the Tathagata, the World-Honored One, and generates profound faith and understanding will certainly gain great blessings adn bring forth a vow to attain supreme enlightenment."

Mongolian Mystery Being

i have roamed the dark side of the moon

past the milky way on silver spoon

i have screened the texture of my brain

i have hardly ever gone insane

i am...

the mongolian mystery being

too fast to ever be seen

the ranger of deserted lands

master of infinite sands

i am coming to take you away,

to show you the way

cross arid and gray,

so what you say?

GeeVees - The Great Repercussion

The random audience has repeatedly sought my comments on diverse subjects related to the Gaudiya Vaishnava tradition, of which I was a part in its several forms for well over a decade. This six-part series should contain most of the themes on my mind at the time of this writing, the outcome of countless nights of reflection, creative contrasting, recontextualization, and selective discarding or re-adaptation of old mental constructs.

• 00: Roots — On my background, on Gaudiya Vaishnavism, on the purposes of this series.
  
• The Nectar Name — Reflections on my experiences with chanting the name, subsequent experiences contrasted with other traditions.
• Ritual Culture — Integating into a native Gaudiya Vaishnava environment, mastering a culture of ritual purity and superstitions.
  
• Gopi Girls Forever — A gloss on the method of living in the "love land", reflections on its applications, psychological dimensions.
• Agamas and Sahajiya Roots — The natural human and the fundamental divinity of duality, heterodox roots of the methods of worship.
• Divinities and Tantric Buddhism — Archetypal deities and classical tantric deity practice, Tibetan Buddhist methods and theologies.
• The Human God — Dimensions of divinity, graded perceptions of dualistic, antropomorphic god and the dimension of nondual existence.
• Doctrinal Picks — Fundamentally valuable aspects in the Gaudiya Vaishnava doctrine, their universal application.

None of the essays that are to follow should be considered final in terms of research. Think of them as previews, alpha-version renderings of elaborate themes. I have no timeline for the current production, I work on pure inspiration. Bear with me and enjoy the ride.

Bihari Sandwich

The state of Bihar, bordered by two other ancient centers of religion, namely Uttar Pradesh in the west and Nepal in the north, was once a land of culture, learning and prosperity. In contemporary India, it has grown infamous for its crippled human and economic situation, resulting in wide-spread crime and corruption. Regrettably the following joke is politically incorrect.

While in Bodh Gaya, we stopped at a small café-restaurant for a snack — two cheese tomato sandwiches and a bottle of coke. It took a fair half an hour for the sandwiches to come around. Waiting for the meal, we went all philosophical and finally solved the grand riddle:

How many Biharis does it take to make a sandwich, and why does it take so long?

First Bihari takes the order.
Second Bihari checks the order against available ingredients.
Third Bihari goes to steal some toast.
Fourth Bihari goes to steal some tomatos.
Fifth Bihari goes to steal some cheese.
Sixth Bihari goes to steal some butter.
Seventh Bihari makes the sandwich.
Eighth Bihari steals the ready sandwich.
Ninth Bihari apprehends the sandwich thief.
Tenth Bihari begins to beat him up.
Eighth Bihari threatens to call the police.
Sixth and seventh Bihari laugh like never before.
Eighth Bihari bribes tenth Bihari to stop the beating.
Ninth Bihari insists on receiving a commission.
Eleventh Bihari recovers the sandwich and brings it to the counter.
Twelfth Bihari picks it up and serves it to your table.

The entire process takes twelve Biharis and thirty something minutes. The amount and value of ingredients may extend delivery time, as expensive ingredients may attract theft already in the production phase, and therefore lost ingredients need to sometimes be re-stolen before the meal can be completed.